QueenBee's blogspot...

Saturday, June 21, 2003:

I’ve got the shakes. Anyone who knows what it is like to be holding an invisible vibrator knows what I am talking about… my. hands. won’t. stop. jittering. Period. And I feel as though I have been on a carousel for hours… only one that’s been possessed by the devil. I am hoping that I just ate some bad sushi the other night and it isn’t the other problem… you know, the other problem. Sheesh… wouldn’t it be my luck? I even had a dream about it last night. That is not uncommon for me, I have those dreams all of the time, but the one from last night had a twist. My little sister was 7 months pregnant and the baby had been fathered by a man from the middle east. The weirdest part was that my father was okay with the whole thing. I was pregnant as well, but only had become so recently, and I was scared to tell him about it. The main reason I was thinking of keeping the baby was so they would be that close in age to their cousin and have a forever-playmate... *sigh* I am making myself crazy with this shit. If I felt better physically I think it would be another story, but I am working on trying not to think about it. Doesn’t help if I have dreams like that, though. Anywho, onto another disaster, Jef called me today. For those of you who don’t know who he is, he was my on-again, off-again high school sweetheart. We dated most recently from the end of 2001 until March of 2002 when I cheated on him with Steve, which resulted in my best friend at the time going ahead and consoling Jef by jumping on him. Apparently they have been broken up for a while, so he felt it was a good idea to call me and wish me a happy birthday and such. I let the answering machine get it where he left me a horribly long and drawn out message in which he sounded more depressed and exhausted than I had heard anyone sound in eons. Hell, I don’t know what possessed him to call in the first place? It isn’t that I don’t want him in my life but there is just hardly any part of me that wants to put effort into rebuilding a relationship with him. The last time I saw him was almost a year ago when I tried to “patch things up”- my approach to doing so was completely physical, which was completely wrong. Jef had always tried to keep me the same as I had been in high school- The ultimate sexpot virgin who kept her innocence despite her looks. At the time I had seen him I was getting over having an abortion so he knew I was no longer the same person and things completely went to shit after that night, so we just dropped everything all together. I don't think I have spoken to him more than once since then... I wrote a poem after the breakup which I put on my blurty site a few months after the fact, you can read it at http://www.blurty.com/users/lasvegasqueenb it is titled "Crystal Ball"... he had read it and written a poem back to me in response at the time, and I am now wishing I had not thrown it away.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if I threw it back in his face.
QueenBee // 9:01 PM

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Friday, June 20, 2003:

So I spent the morning with one of the coolest kids ever, my friend Amber’s son Hunter. She needed a sitter for the 2 year old cutie, so I had him from 7 to noon. He ran all of my errands with me- the post office, the car wash, the grandparents house… Everything was all sunshiny and rosey until some bastard hit my car at the bank. What kind of lunatic motherfucker hits a car with a baby in it and does not apologize? A motherfucker named Thomas A. Griffin, that’s what kind of motherfucker. Instead he swaggers out of his vehicle (after he gets his bumper loose from my passenger side door) and tells me that I had parked too close to him. Keep in mind that his big ass Ford truck is sitting well over the line designated for his space (there was about 2 ft of open space on the right side of his truck where he should have been parked) and that I was parked perfectly. Perfectly. Even though he was parked all fucked up he could have avoided the accident had he just backed out slowly and paid more attention. Anywho, when he started barking about how I parked too close I called my Grand Dad and told him to bring his camera down so we’d have some evidence- I was not about to let some 26 year old stoned out motherfucking piece of shit construction worker fuck me over. So I filed a claim, they had better get me a damned Rent-A-Car when my poor Yoko goes in to the beauty shop (again) I wonder what kind of car I would be set up with? Hmm… anyway, I am at work, wasting away *LOL* Tonight I am going to dinner with friends to celebrate my birthday, I have been doing a lot of that lately. Taylor and I went out for sushi last night and we spent over $500 on food out in Cali… no wonder I look like a sea cow. Speaking of sea cows… Courtney got fat. I don’t know many pregnant people who can balloon up that fast. Well, kudos to her- her boyfriends a fucking hottie :)
QueenBee // 3:59 PM

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Monday, June 16, 2003:

Well, the trip is over half complete, and I am updating this blog from my Aunt and Uncle's in San Jose. In about a half of an hour I will be leaving here with my father and sister, off to San Francisco. We have less than two days until we begin our drive back to Vegas- even so, tonight is when the real vacation begins. I have so many things to look forward to in SF- museums, the wharf, real sushi, meeting up with an old friend from Cross Creek- I could not be more excited. Yet as fun as the trip has been thus far, I preferred spending the time with Shayla when we were down here last year. I really miss her. Anyway, I will be returning to Vegas late Wednesday evening, then I will be off for my birthday, and I return to "work" on Friday... hope everything is well with everyone else. Talk to you all soon...
QueenBee // 11:23 AM

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~The blog of the ever cynical but occasionally humorous QueenBee~

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