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Wednesday, May 14, 2003:

30 Things That Bring Me Joy
1. Eating crab legs with Kristen. We always end up with an audience.
2. Spending my money on other people… Especially if I have no money meant for spending. I think I get off putting myself in debt.
3. Babies.
4. Watching Wesley Snipes laying on a bed in a red corset, kicking his red-pump clad feet femininely while giggling during the opening credits of To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar.
5. Chocolate covered anything… Raisins, gummi bears, bananas… etc.
6. Rainy days… Anything overcast and cloudy.
7. Poking Nick in the belly. Well, actually, Nick period.
8. Medium-rare red meats, omitting hamburgers.
9. Reading books that take me to wonderfully fictional places such as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the Harry Potter series. I will literally lose myself and forget that the place does not exist… it’s fabulous.
10. Going out to sushi with Kyria. Something about the raw fish brings out the best conversational topics in the both of us.
11. My big ol’ ass.
12. Denny’s at 3am and then a traditional Wal-Mart run…
13. Or even better, blasting Lords of Acid in the Jack In The Box drive through at 3am... (Then getting home and being far too tired to eat said Jack In The Box, and falling asleep watching infomercials while kitties poke around at the open ketchup packages strewn upon the fast food bags on the floor)
14. Hearing Delaney and Ian try to say my name- “Baca” for her and something gibberish-like that changes every few days for him :)
15. Men with big… things. (No, not those things… ears and noses and appetites and such… you perverts)
16. Large cherry Dr. Peppers with lots and lots of real cherries and venti ice chai lattes with light ice.
17. Sending out one of those horridly repetitive internet email surveys and having people actually respond.
18. Girls that wear body glitter… I don’t care how “so mid-nineties” it is.
19. Those huge bondage paintings hanging on the walls in the swingers club in the convention center, The Green Door.
20. Tattoo parlors.
21. Rainbows… but not the ones in the sky.
22. Peach fuzz. From real peaches. I like to lick it… a lot.
23. Reminiscing with Christy about when we were little.
24. Teasing David about his lack o’ eyeball.
25. My baby sister.
26. Dressing up like a girl… I always loved having an excuse to wear a dress. Prom preparation was heaven.
27. Freckles…
28. Listening to my grandparents argue about where to go for lunch, even though we know damned well that Grandpa will probably lose and we won’t get to go to the buffet for the millionth time this week.
29. Being snuck into bars by my older and more alcohol-savvy friends.
30. This is perhaps the worst of all of my vices and certainly the one that makes me feel the guiltiest… Calling Courtney’s little girl “baby retard” - *snickers*

30 Things That Annoy Me To Death
1. Actually taking the time to polish my nails and then, even after waiting hours for them to dry before I go to bed, waking up in the morning with fabric imprints on them from my pillows.
2. Big slobbery dogs.
3. Having friends that think you actually want to sleep with their nasty ass love interests.
4. Waiters that don’t speak english (I know that is bad, but it is true)
5. Migraines.
6. Salad dressing on the salad, rather than on the side.
7. Being called Ms. Brandy or Ms. Bradley by dumbass hostesses in restaurants. If you can’t read you should be busing the tables rather than seating my ass.
8. My entire line of ex-lovers… even Kevin.
9. Razor burn.
10. Wanting to purchase something but needing to go to an ATM in order to do so, but then once back from the ATM the item you wanted is gone- purchased by another.
11. Having another member of my family put my drying laundry on the dirty work bench in the garage because they are too fucking impatient to wait until my items are done drying before they can get theirs in there.
12. Funny ass blogs that are not updated every damned day… I need a fix each afternoon, for God sakes.
13. My recently developed back pain… thanks a hell of a lot, knockers.
14. Condoms.
15. Customers that call in and don’t know what they are calling for… literally.
16. Just about every conversation I have with Chris Barth.
17. The way Delaney has learned how to say “No”, “Mine”, and “I don’t wanna” to everything. E*V*E*R*T*H*I*N*G
18. The way I manage to lose chapstick 5 minutes after getting it… same with pens. Never fails.
19. My hair.
20. When people question me… period. I know what I am doing, motherfucker.
21. Stretch marks… bah :(
22. That itty bitty hole in my favorite black sweater.
23. Buying a bra that fits in the store but seeming to grow out of it before I even get the damned thing home.
24. A single blonde hair that use to plague the back of one of my ex’s… drove me fucking nuts that I could not tweeze the fucker.
25. My dad threatening me with rent that he knows I can’t pay because I am not following through on job leads that I never asked him for in the first place.
26. Being fat… it is not something I am used to.
27. When my Starbucks is made the wrong way, like if there is too much chai or too much ice. Or if I get a frappucino and they put whipped cream on it. Morons…
28. People dissing people like The Dixie Chicks for having an opinion when they have one of their own. Who’s to say who can and cannot speak their mind?
29. Nazis.
30. Having to be at work during the 2 hour finale of Dawson’s Creek. Or any other such television program or event that I have to miss because I am here talking to these people.

QueenBee // 8:33 PM

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Monday, May 12, 2003:

You know when you swear off all fast food intake because no matter how good it may be while you are eating it you know that it will almost always make you feel bad afterwards? And no matter how many opportunities there are to eat fast food and no matter how bad the temptation is to just stop and get something from a fast food place you know in your gut that you swore it off for a damned good reason and therefore you have no intention, nor really even a desire, to break that vow against said fast food? So even if the idea is entertained at one point or another you truly know better and you are confident in saying that never again will you stop and get that fast food?

Yeah... it's a lot like that.

QueenBee // 12:19 AM

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~The blog of the ever cynical but occasionally humorous QueenBee~

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